Dancing With the Stars Week 7

Classical Night, which Gracie would’ve renamed Princess at the Ball Night, on Dancing With the Stars, was not to be missed.  Twelve-year-old powerhouse, Jackie Evancho brought Tracie to tears with her rendition of Ave Maria.  Jackie truly has a gift from above.  Katherine and Mark danced to “Cannon in D Major,” the song that filled our church as I walked down the aisle almost 19 years ago.  Yes, I was a child bride.  The set was reminiscent of the days I spent watching Lawrence Welk, and his orchestra, with my Grandma Lauretta.  What a smile tonight’s episode brought to my face; memories I cherish.

Let’s get this party started!  I am happy to welcome back my girl, blogger Michelle Bell; blonde sister from another mother, author Tracie Banister, and little miss Gracie, who would one day like to be in the “con-creek” business, so she can build more roads.  Here we go!  

Best performance of the week:
Michelle: I thought Maks and Melissa put so much heart into their performance tonight and I really don't think it was as bad as the judges scored it.  Not the best dance of the evening, by far, but it was still a good dance and worthy of a shout out.

The best performance went to Derek and Maria.  Dramatic and intense, the perfect score of 30 was well deserved.  I could have done without the ugly grimacing faces they pulled, but the dance was superb.

For the team dances, I think it was 100% Team Paso! The intensity, the fire, the flash...it was all there.

Tracie: I really liked Derek and Maria's Vampire Paso Doble.  As always, Derek's choreography was really creative and entertaining and Maria not only executed it well, she convincingly acted the role of a slinky bloodsucker.  I'm not sure if the performance deserved a perfect 30, but since it was probably the best of the night, why not?             

Jen: Holy stake-in-the-heart, people!  I was mesmerized by Derek and Maria’s, From Dust Till Dawn impression!  The entire vampire storyline, their moves, and their intensity were maintained from beginning to end.  A score of anything less than 30, would have been abominable!

Gracie: They were all princesses at the ball dancing with the prince tonight!  Except Maria, she was a bloodsucker!         

This was definitely NOT your dance (worst performance):
Michelle: Oh Roshon, I feel guilty picking on you so much this week.  I thought it was clumsy and stilted.  The judges bagged on  Maks and Melissa and I truly didn't feel that Roshon and Chelsie did any better.  I didn't enjoy watching Jaleel and Kym, either. Jaleel gets too far in his head, too cocky, and then it falls apart.

Tracie: I thought that Team Tango was a hot mess, especially in the individual sections.  Maria looked totally off-balance and like Derek was dragging her through the steps and Jaleel and Kym were slipping and sliding and getting their legs tangled.  The four couples never seemed to be in sync in the group portions of the dance either.

Jen: I think there were several couples who had, in my eyes, incredibly difficult moves to execute and found it difficult to carry it off with perfection.  For me, I felt that Team Tango as a whole fell short in comparison to the individual performances.  Do you vote them all off the island?  Jaleel seemed disconnected with Kym in their performance.  I so, so want to see him revive the confidence he had at the beginning of the season; time is running out.

Gracie: This was not Zombie Night! *imagine Gracie, wildly flapping her hands to signal a plane landing*  It was Princesses at the Ball Night and I didn’t like Maria biting that nice boy (Derek) in the neck.  Someone didn’t tell Maria that she was supposed to be a princess!  I mean – children are watching, people!

The Tina Sparkle Award for best use of sequins and spandex:

Michelle: I really loved the Victorian era inspired dresses that the dance troupe wore for the opening number.  Absolutely gorgeous!  I think Peta was smoking in the red and gold dress.  The color is very dramatic and fit her perfectly.  And the three men that did the Paso -- delicious!!  

Tracie: I'm a big fan of any item of apparel that is red and if it's sparkly, all the better!  So, my vote goes to Maria's red vampire queen gown.  It certainly showed off her figure to its best advantage and it conveyed the right glam, but predatory, image that Maria needed for the dance.

Jen: Hands down, Maria’s dress was killer (heh-heh).

Gracie: Chelsie had the prettiest dress of them all.  She should’ve taken Maria dress shopping, so maybe Chelsie should be a better friend next time.

This just in . . . the wardrobe department hates you!

Michelle: While I loved Katherine's Roman Goddess get up, I just just was not feeling Mark's look tonight.  Especially the cape, I was so glad he lost it. (Which is sad as I normally love to watch him move.)  I wasn't feeling Maks' outfit tonight, either.  It was odd on him.  And for the second week in a row, I have to say Maria's outfit was my least favorite of the women. She looked like the wicked witch and it wasn't a look that was good for her.

Tracie: While I understood that Melissa Gilbert's costume was inspired by Juliet (and Maks was supposed to be her Romeo), the gown (I'm not sure if I can even call it that since it was basically a white leotard with some diaphanous fabric thrown over it.) really hindered Melissa when she was in motion, especially during the lifts.  She spent the whole dance with that white skirt either wrapped around her head or Maks'.  I think her costume actually made the dance look worse, and more awkward, than it actually was.  I'm, also, going to issue a fashion demerit to Jaleel and Kym because their costumes did not come from the same era.  Jaleel was dressed as a WWI soldier and Kym looked to be imitating a Southern belle from the Civil War, complete with a ruffled parasol (WTH?)   

Jen: I was not feeling the love tonight for Jaleel and Kym’s combination.  I love the feel of period-piece clothing and the way it enhances the storyline for performances; I didn’t swoon.

Gracie: You know what I am going to say…  Red dress girl (Maria).  No likey!

What were the judges' smoking?

Michelle: Bruno started it off with a zinger leveled at Katherine and Mark, "You could have gone a bit further to get my juices flowing." It was just a Bruno-esque statement to kick it off.  I don't see why the judges are coddling Roshon.  Maybe I am blind, but I found him the weakest all the way around.

Tracie: The fix was clearly in on the team dances last night.  Team Tango had so many errors in their routine and yet they got straight 9s from the judges?  The crowd lost their minds over Team Paso's clearly superior routine and the judges gave rave reviews for the performance, then they scored it one point LESS than Team Tango?  I really think that the judges had it out for Melissa this week and they were going to give whatever team she was on the lower score so that they could get her into the B2.  Conspiracy!

Jen: The judges must have been embodied by aliens.  Aliens who have no concept of scoring the team dances.  Did I watch a completely different set of performances than they did?  I was thrilled to see their scores for Team Paso lead to anarchy at the end of the show.  Terrible, terrible scoring of Team Paso and Team Tango. 

Tom Bergeron's best one-liner:

Michelle: "So tune in tonight, it's sure to be an instant classic." Oh ha-ha, I get it. It's classical night. Tom, you so silly!  My favorite one-liner should not surprise anyone, "Mark and Katherine will kick off the night with a wardrobe from Game of Thrones: The Musical".  *snork*

Tracie: I guffawed when Tom introduced Team Tango with, "Hope nobody loses their rag."  He was poking fun at Mark Ballas' little hissy fit in the Team Tango intro clip when Mark flipped out on Katherine and told her that if she didn't get the step right he was going to "lose his rag."  I have no idea if that's some sort of British expression or what, but it just sounded so silly and I love that Tom picked up on it.

Okay, I just looked it up and “Lose One's Rag” is an English colloquialism meaning To become angry.  Ha!  I learned something new from Dancing With the Stars this week!

Jen: My favorite one-liner echoes Michelle’s!   

Gracie: I didn’t listen to any words he said.  He says too many phone numbers, and I’m not allowed to call them anyway.

The "Oh, Brooke!" moment of the week:
Michelle: The quizzing, and you knew it was coming, of William as to why he hadn't wanted to take his shirt off for the Team Paso.  I really blocked her out a lot tonight; I was not in the mood for “Brooke speak.”

Tracie: It drives me absolutely nuts that Brooke mispronounces the name Chmerkovskiy ever time she says it!  And she doesn't even mispronounce it the same way each time.  She mangled it right to Maks' face last night in his and Melissa's post-dance interview in the celebraquarium.  Maks already looked like he was steaming mad over the judges' negative feedback on his and Melissa's Argentine Tango.  Then, Brooke screws up his name and asks him something inane like, "What did you think about the judges' comments?"  I cracked up when he snapped back, "I don't think; I dance."

Jen: There are so many other things to ask Katherine, especially on this night.  I was hoping to hear a question regarding advice for Jackie, or maybe what advice you have for the twelve-year-old singer you once were.  Blah… 

Time to hang up your dancing shoes:
Michelle: I see the bottom two as Roshon and Melissa.  It is hard to say which one the judges will vote to send home, but neither are truly improving.  Roshon has been waa-waa'ing around the press about being at a disadvantage and Melissa does the waa-waa on air.  I don't know if the judges are ready to let Maks go yet, as he is quite popular with the fans.

Tracie: I don't see how Melissa can possibly avoid the B2 with her scores being so low.  I think it will probably be Jaleel and Melissa in the B2 and the judges will happily oust Melissa.  I'm just glad that this will be the last week we have to endure one of those awful Dance Duels.  Of course, next week we're supposedly getting a double elimination.  I think that we'll be saying goodbye to Melissa, Jaleel, and Rochon in the next two results shows. 

Jen: I think we are going to see Melissa and Roshon rounding out the bottom.  Stranger things have happened.  *Jen sheds a tear for Jack Wagner*

Gracie: Well, I just am tired of picking people to leave.  Just because Maria was a vampire, that doesn’t mean I didn’t like her dancing because she got a 30!  I jumped up and down for her!  I don’t like it that Mark was naked tonight.  He is such a weirdo!  He should go home for it.  I have nothing else to say.

See all ya’ll next week!

XOXO

Michelle, Tracie, Gracie & Jen